I Get to Do What I Don’t Like?

As I write this post, I’m working on several projects. For those non-practical projects, they require that I set aside chunks of time for gathering information. There’s one project that I’ve been working on for three years. Uh, yeah, that seems a bit long but with that comes learning new techniques. What I find interesting is there are so many rabbit trails to go down! Which one do I follow? I guess I pick one and eventually, the answer is known.

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Nothing in life seems to go as quick as we hope! It appears that our society desires the “I want it now!” attitude. That seems to come with the necessity to “grab and go” way of life that’s so prominent. However, there are some things that are best when they marinate for a while. You know, like that good ‘ole pot roast we used to put in the oven before church on a Sunday morning. Walking in the door later in the day to wafting smells of deliciousness made it worth the wait. After sitting in the dutch oven for several hours, the roast, potatoes and carrots were cooked to perfection. Making Grandma’s gravy was all it required to have an instant yummy meal.

What am I learning from this? I’m a person who really enjoys grabbing information and assembling it quickly. Yes, I tend to be a grab-and-go person at times, just like everyone else. Being a classical musician helps keep that in check because to be proficient, there’s nothing quick about classical skills. It’s during these times that we have the opportunity to dig deeper into the “what can I learn from this?” mode. If we can see the goal, it’s much easier. But, for those times where the end goal isn’t always readily “seeable,” it’s still important to move forward. This is where we tend to get stuck – when we can’t see what’s ahead.

As Christians, we are supposed to walk by faith. Part of that involves doing things in bits and pieces as we assemble the puzzle pieces. My current project involves frequencies, gematria, and mathematics. Math is not a favorite subject. This requires me getting past some issues surrounding my thoughts about math. In fact, I had to walk through some repentance once I realized part of my issue was some bitterness I’d held against my 8th grade math teacher. From that point on, I never liked math and did not excel at it. Up to that point, I actually did fairly well in math. So, what happened? In one of my times with Yahweh, he began to show me how the words of my 8th grade teacher shut me down. My fault in this? I believed her.

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After I walked through the owning, repenting, renouncing, nail it to the cross, and cover it with the blood of Jesus process, I made the decision that I needed to learn some math. I got on the computer, went to YouTube and started watching math tutorials. For me, the best way to face something I don’t like is to do it! No more whining, no more complaining, and no more “I can’t do this!” It’s a mindset and I had to get over it. For one whole day, I did nothing but watch tutorials on simple math, taking notes. It felt like I was back in high school.

Prior to the repentance process, I’d watched a video on how to turn simple Pythagorean ratios into specific musical frequencies. Even after watching the video five or six times, my brain was still fried by the end of it! To date, it’s the best video I’ve seen on the subject and I still couldn’t figure it out. After asking for help from several people, I was a bit frustrated. I needed help and I needed it now! What was I going to do!? Many times, we have to be pushed into a corner before we realize that we have a problem. In this case, my problem was that I didn’t like math and thought I didn’t have the tools to figure out how to do the formula shown in the video.

It wasn’t until I reached this point that I realized my problem came from within me. Yahweh began to show me where things went wrong, as I mention above. I had a choice to make. Was I going to continue allowing a past situation rule my life? That may sound a bit harsh but if you think about it, my life at that moment was being ruled by the fact that I couldn’t do what I needed to do. And, it brought me to a place where I had a choice to deal with it (or not).

Abies grandis – Image by Pixabay

Interestingly enough, after watching the tutorials, easy algebra formulas finally began to make sense. Why couldn’t my teachers in high school explain it like that!? I didn’t take math in college. I avoided it and took science classes instead, which we were allowed to do at that time. I’ll have to say that dendrology (the scientific study of trees) was my favorite class. Learning Latin names of trees was way more fun than doing algebra! I enjoyed walking into band rehearsals (right after my dendro class) with armloads of tree samples. Entertainment abounded for the clarinet section with all these tree samples. Yes, you can use your imagination on that one.

Enough of the reminiscing… The point here is that my disdain for math started in 8th grade and continued until recently. At the time, I had no clue why I didn’t like math nor could I understand why it never made sense to me. It wasn’t until Yahweh enlightened me with the truth of the things I’d let stew within me all those years that I fully understood why math was always difficult. What’s even more amazing is that I actually enjoyed watching the tutorials! You see, once we deal with the “giants” in our lives, it’s much easier to take back the things that hold us back.

Here’s the next cool thing about this whole incident… After watching the math tutorials, I came back to my frequency dilemma. For a moment, I sat staring at the puzzle asking Yahweh, “Can you show me what to do?” As I continued to flip through my pages of notes, a thought came flitting through my brain, “go look for a ratio conversion calculator.” Huh? I had no clue what that was but as I continued to mull it over in my mind, I remembered something from one of the tutorials. I did a bit of Googling and found out how to do the conversion. After about two minutes, I had the decimal equivalent to the ratio that I was seeking. BAM! That was all I needed. I ran a couple of test problems before beginning to create my chart. Within 30 minutes, I had it all done – a chart that I’d worked on for close to a month and had to keep setting aside because I couldn’t find anyone to help me. And, that was only a problem because I didn’t know HOW to ask for help.

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Do you see what this changed for me? It wasn’t until I pushed through with something that I very much disliked doing before I had a solution. There are many times in life where we simply have to take care of stuff. Until we do, we’re gonna be stuck!  That’s just the way the cookie crumbles. You either figure it out or you stay frustrated. Now, I didn’t become an instant math whiz at that point. But, I was able to solve a simple problem because I dared to push through something I don’t enjoy doing. It took repentance and releasing fears and bitterness before I could move forward.

I still have a lot to learn when it comes to math. But, I’m not fearful of it like I used to be. That doesn’t mean that old thought patterns won’t try to rear their ugly heads. This is where familiar spirits try to whisper things like “that’s too hard for you!” You might want to check out my article on familiar spirits to learn more about how they can wreak havoc in our lives.

The bottom line here is that I wanted some information. I needed it to move forward with a project. I’m learning patience in not pushing things, allowing what I gather to stew and simmer for some time before I add other bits and pieces. When we get stuck and frustrated, those are often opportunities for us to look and see what may be holding us back. Then, it should be simple enough to deal with any issues so we can move forward in what we’re called to do. At times, it can be painful but as they say, “no pain – no gain!” There is truth to that because it’s the trials in our lives that help us grow, if we let them.

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I will add here – not every time we get stuck will it involve dealing with an issue. But, that’s generally what I check first, just to be sure. There are times where other information is needed before what we desire will make sense. For me, the general rule is to check and see if anything in me is holding the answer back. In this case, until the point where I had to do some math on my own, it never even crossed my mind that I had a problem. Previously, it was easy to find others who liked to help. But, for some strange reason, that wasn’t the case this time.

My encouragement for you today is to look at recurring situations where you feel stuck in something. Ask Yahweh if this may be connected to a previous issue that needs attention. If He shows you something, deal with it. Then, move through the frustration so you come out on the other side. There’s always freedom in that place.

May you walk in freedom of all things that hold you back from fulfilling the call of Yahweh on your life!

Del

© 2018 by Del Hungerford

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