The Cloud

I find it amazing that over the past year, God has been dealing with some of my past issues, including generational things that have kept me in an uncomfortable place. I know that learning to walk in what’s intended for my life came from listening to Ian Clayton’s teaching called “The Testimony of Your Scroll.”  It helped open my eyes to seeing a much bigger picture than I had ever imagined.

In this next experience, I run into a “man of old” in the kingdom realms. I never learn who he is but I do know that he came to show me an area of my life that was clouded over, keeping me from “seeing” the blessings God has for me. It’s also fascinating that now that I’ve helped write the book, “Accessing Your Spiritual Inheritance,” I’m getting many opportunities to work through some stuff in my life. It’s all for the purpose of bringing me to a place where I can indeed fulfill what’s on the destiny scroll of my life. With that, here’s the story…

The Cloud

Cloud over landscapeI see what looks like a foggy and dense cloud before me. Out of the midst of the fog walks a tall figure. I can’t tell who it is but I watch as the figure approaches. I can tell he’s a man, very large in stature and regal. I wonder if he’s an angel or …?

“I’m here to show you things you’ve asked about,” he says, motioning for me to follow him. “I’m one of the men of old,” he continues, answering my thoughts.

He’s more serious than others I’ve met so I don’t dilly dally any longer. The moment I step to follow him, he turns and starts to head back into the cloud. He then motions for me to walk beside him. After doing so, we continue in silence, walking deeper into this dense cloud. It’s so thick, I’m almost choking. It’s not a bad thing, I sense. The texture seems different than what I’ve felt before. I still don’t like it because I can only see the path we’re on.

grassWe eventually come into a clearing where I can see green grass. The cloud only lifts high enough for me to see the grass – which I understand to symbolize that I can see my walk or path. Still saying nothing, we continue on. As in previous visits to the kingdom realms, the grass springs back into position after we’ve passed over it. I watch it as we continue to move down the path, deeper into this fog. I begin to sense a heaviness that isn’t good. But, even in that, I know this is for me to understand something.

Not much further down the green path, the cloud begins to dissipate and I can now see a clearing ahead of us. Before me is a beautiful lake with the most amazing color of blue. I see rocks on the bottom of the lake and mountains in the distance. Turning back, I look at the cloud.

“Was I not able to see what was in that cloud because I haven’t been ready to see it yet?” I ask.

“You are correct,” he says, turning back to view the cloud with me.

“Am I to assume it’s because of my own heart that needs purification and healing?”

“Yes,” he answers, turning to look me in the eyes. After a bit more silence, he adds “You are now seeing the other side of that cloud – the result of what it’s like once you’re able to see and then deal with what’s in the cloud.”

“I understand,” I respond. “Would you have not brought me here if I’m not in a place where I could take care of that now?” I question.

“You had to see this first to know what’s in the cloud. When people allow hurts to stay in their hearts, their vision is clouded. That’s why you felt choked up. It wasn’t a bad thing, as you assessed, because you sensed freedom would come out of it.” He responds, looking at me more intently.

I can see the kindness even though his voice seems a bit formal. Pondering for another moment, I ask “It has to do with my marriage, doesn’t it?”

“And, do you know what would have caused that cloud to cover your vision?” he prods.

“I allowed Todd’s words to be my thoughts. I believed what he said about me more than what God said about me” I answer.

There’s no hanging my head over that one! I know and understand what I did but hadn’t really thought about the effects of it until now.

woman of abuse“Abuse does interesting things to people,” he adds. “Words are very powerful and when you allow what others say to take root, it becomes intent, which then plants a seed of desire. Not all desires are good. You entertained what was said about you. And, it cost you.” He lovingly looks at me, making sure that I understand.

“You’re right – I did that and didn’t even realize it’s what I was doing.”

“I would know a little about that,” he adds. “In my life, I, too, dealt with a similar situation. My job now is to help others see their mistakes in this so you can be free now and not have to live with the results of those choices while you’re still on earth” he offers.

I know what I must do… I step aside for a moment and look to the north, where I sense the Throne of God is. I speak out a repentance prayer and thank God for washing me clean with the Blood of Jesus. I then take a moment to kneel and worship. My friend stands beside me as I walk through this process.

After a bit, I stand and feel compelled to turn around and look back towards the cloud. The cloud is now gone and I can see we’ve walked next to a beautiful, flowing brook in the midst of a beautifully treed forest. The pathway is well worn but still beautiful with pebbles and gemstones worn into the path.

“See!” my friend says. “Once you unclog your vision, you can see what was meant for you. Now, speak redemption into those years,” He further instructs.

Continuing to face the direction we came, I boldly begin “In the Name of my Jesus, I speak and decree over this point of my life and say all that was lost is now redeemed. I declare words of hope, love, patience, and kindness. I say that a bright future is planted in the place of what I’ve just dug up and discarded. I say there’s hope for my future. Father, I plant seeds of Your desire in the seedbed of my heart and I water those desires. May your desires be my desires as I water them.”

Looking back up, I see the mountains in the distance have changed. They are closer and brighter. Quickly, I begin running towards them…

 

Is there a moral here?

At this time, I still have no idea who this “man of old” was. But, I have a feeling I’ll be seeing him again. As mentioned above, I find it fascinating that as I begin to walk into newer and deeper intimacy with the Father, I get to clean up more of my life. I no longer dread those times because I know going through the purification process brings me to that deeper level of intimacy. So, there really is a moral to this story. I would venture to say that when we allow the things that have held us back to be cleaned and redeemed, there truly is freedom to move forward.

Exercise time!

JournalingI encourage you to put on some calming instrumental music. If you need some, I have several albums on the Healing Frequencies Music website to choose from. Next, imagine yourself going up stairs into the kingdom realms. If you need to imagine there’s a door at the top of the stairs, use whatever “trigger” is needed to help you visualize what you’re seeing. Here are some questions to get you started: Who opens the door for you? What else do you see? Do you see angels? What do you hear? Grab a journal and write what you see, sense, feel, hear, taste, and/or touch. Feel free to leave your experience in the comment section below.

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